


You're Not Alone

by alphaparrot



Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: Anxiety, Anxious-Avoidant, Camping, Catra Has Issues (She-Ra), F/F, Fluff and Angst, Post-Canon, Spoilers for S5, You don't have to feel this way, catradora, sleeping
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-16
Updated: 2020-07-16
Packaged: 2021-03-04 20:07:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,099
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25312072
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alphaparrot/pseuds/alphaparrot
Summary: Catra and Adora sleep beneath the stars on their way to a mission together--and Catra wrestles with relationship anxieties.
Relationships: Adora/Catra (She-Ra)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 82





	You're Not Alone

Catra’s ear twitched in the night breeze as the leaves of the trees rustled overhead. She lay awake, looking at the back of Adora’s head as Adora slept next to her, her back to Catra. 

It was so strange to think that they were both here, together, on their way to do a mission. It was almost like old times.

Almost.

Catra knew joining the Princesses was the right choice. And it was nice being around Adora again. But still.

She didn’t belong. She wasn’t a Princess. She wasn’t like Glimmer, or Adora. She knew Mermista disliked her, and she suspected the others did too. And while Bow also wasn’t technically a Princess, he was so much a part of the group that he might as well have been.

_ “You matter to me,” _ Adora had said. She had promised to bring Catra home. And in turn, when Adora had needed her, Catra had refused to give up on Adora. She had made her own promise. And so here they were, sleeping side-by-side under the stars.

And Adora slept with her back to Catra.

Catra wanted to reach over, to hold Adora and pull her close. But did Adora want that? 

Catra knew it was a small thing. But she also knew that no matter what, she didn’t fit in this group. She was out of place. She was Catra; she had commanded the Horde armies. They hated her. They had to. Adora too. 

Adora had said she loved her. But how could that be true? How could she love Catra, after everything?

And now, as they lay here, Adora had turned her back to Catra. Had turned away. Was this really how Adora felt? Was all of it, everything, just to get Catra away from Horde Prime? So she wouldn’t be a threat anymore?

Catra clenched her fists and curled up tighter on her sleeping pad. 

She didn’t belong here, and Adora didn’t love her. She was stupid for deluding herself otherwise. All because Horde Prime had used her, and in her despair she had let Adora and the Princesses convince her that she was worth saving.

Stupid.

There was a sound behind her, and Catra flinched, her head whipping around.

It was her tail--it had hit the ground in an anxious twitch.

So stupid. So stupid that even her own tail could surprise her. 

Catra huffed and rolled over, grabbing her tail and pulling it up to her chest as she curled into a tight ball.

She was stupid, worthless, she didn’t deserve to be here, and she was a fool for believing that Adora could love her.

Catra squeezed her eyes shut, and felt a hot tear pool against her nose.

Behind her, Catra heard Adora move on her sleeping pad. A moment later, there was a light touch at Catra’s shoulder.

“Hey,” she heard Adora murmur.

Catra quickly wiped the tear off her face, rolled over, and opened her eyes.

Adora’s face was just inches away, her blue eyes half open, and her hand resting on the grass in the small space between their sleeping pads. 

“Hey, Adora,” Catra said softly.

Adora’s eyes slid closed, and she smiled. “Hi,” she replied. She sighed contentedly. “I’m glad you’re here, Catra,” she murmured. “You don’t know how much I missed you before.”

Catra blushed, and gripped her tail tighter. “You’re--you’re just saying that,” she muttered. 

“Mmm, ‘s true,” Adora replied, her eyes still closed. “Love you. Always have.”

Catra gave a small shake of her head. She loved Adora too--she had for years and years, and it had broken her heart when Adora left. And then every time Adora chose the Princesses over her, chose to turn her back on Catra, it had carved a fresh wound into Catra’s heart.

Catra sighed. “You’re barely awake,” she said. “You--this isn’t--you’re having a dream or something.”

“Heh.  _ You’re _ my dream,” Adora replied with a chuckle. 

Catra’s blush deepened. “Adora,” she said, “stop. You’re not making sense. I don’t belong with you, or the Princesses; I never did. I don’t know why you rescued me. You don’t have to say this stuff to me just to get me away from the Horde. I can leave if you want me to.” She squeezed her eyes shut once more, and sighed.

“Nuh-uh.”

There was a soft rustle, and then Catra felt a gentle push on the tip of her nose. She opened her eyes, and looked into Adora’s large, blue eyes, wide open and staring directly into her own. The tip of Adora’s nose was gently brushing up against Catra’s. Adora brought her hand up and ran a finger along Catra’s face, tracing her hairline.

“I want you here, Catra” Adora said. “I made friends out here, and yeah I’m a Princess...but I’m still not like them. I grew up in the Horde. With you. With you, I’m not alone. That’s us. That’s you and me. We’re not alone when we’re together.”

“Do you really mean that?” Catra asked softly.

“Did you mean it when you said you loved me, back in the Heart of Etheria?” Adora asked.

Catra’s breath hitched as she thought back to that moment. She had felt so desperate--she had been on the verge of losing Adora forever, after maybe, finally, getting her back after she had left the Horde. Catra had refused to let go, then. Adora was hers. She  _ had _ always loved Adora, and as much as she had never wanted to admit that fact, she had instinctively felt, then, that if she didn’t say it, she would be alone forever. 

And then when Adora had replied-- _ ”I love you too” _ \--the surge of warmth and relief that had coursed through Catra’s veins. She had known then that she would never again let Adora go. She was Adora’s, and Adora was hers. 

“I did,” Catra replied. “I do.”

Adora gently pulled Catra’s hand away from her tail, and loosely twined her fingers into Catra’s. 

“Well, then,” she said, drawing close. “I mean it too.” Adora leaned forward, and softly pressed her lips against Catra’s. Catra squeezed Adora’s hand and leaned in, pushing into the warmth of the kiss. 

“I love you, Catra,” Adora murmured, as they broke apart. “And I’m glad you’re here.” Her eyelids slid closed once more, and with a contented sigh she nuzzled her head into the sleeping pad, her fingers still entwined with Catra’s.

“I love you too,” Catra whispered. She tilted her head slightly forward, so that their foreheads gently touched, and closed her eyes.

**Author's Note:**

> Some of the themes and events in this fic are drawn from my own relationship experiences. If you're curious, Catra is exhibiting some anxious attachment in her relationship with Adora, which is super common and can easily lead to unhealthy relationship behaviors. Specifically, Catra is probably anxious-avoidant, which can be quite challenging to deal with. If what Catra is feeling resonates with you, just know that you don't have to feel this way--it is possible to work to understand yourself and learn secure attachment responses and behaviors. I have been benefiting a great deal from navigating my anxious attachment behaviors with my therapist. Spending your relationships worried that your partner doesn't want you is no way to live--trust me, it can get better ❤️
> 
> Many thanks to [delta_altair](https://archiveofourown.org/users/delta_altair) and [thedarkpoet](https://archiveofourown.org/users/thedarkpoet) for reading and giving suggestions :)


End file.
